Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
3pm strippers are depressing
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
