Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
