Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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