I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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