Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
