he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
