Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
