dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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