I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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