pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
