White coat. Heels.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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