I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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