South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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