That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
