sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
