Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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