If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Randomize
