I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
