Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
