woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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