What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize