It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
