You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
