I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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