They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
