Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
