Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
