I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Vodka?
Forever.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
