Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
