sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
