halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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