I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
