Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
