Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
