I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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