y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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