He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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