i think my tv is drunk
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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