dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
