My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
