i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
