just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
