Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
