If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
