And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
