I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
