Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
