what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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