When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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