If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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