im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
